The following is a few logic games to give you some practice wrapping your head around the illogic of the Bush administration and the radical right. You have until the 2008 elections to select your answers. When completed, send them to Congressional Democrats. Good luck.
Logic Games
DIRECTIONS: Review the scenario and conditions below. Based on the conditions, answer the questions using logical reasoning.
An underground bunker includes six rooms, numbered 1 through 6 from
left to right. Each room accommodates up to two people, not including
body doubles. Six people—George, Dick, Donald, Condi, Antonio and
Karl—are in the bunker at the same time.
Conditions:
• Nobody will stay in a room next to Dick
• Antonio MUST be in the room with “the rack” and the electrodes
• Karl MUST be in Room #1
• Condi will go into any room you stick her in
• George must NOT be in a room next to anyone using a cell phone or
portable defibrillator, as it scrambles the rectangular
receiver/transmitter surgically affixed to his back
• Nobody is sharing a room with his or her conscience
• Karl and George MUST have adjoining rooms
• When considering your answer choices assume the Constitution and
the Bill of Rights have been obliterated, but that the Mickey Mouse
Club Song remains intact, albeit under full copyright law, copyright
held by Disney who will prosecute any infringement to the full extent
of the law.
1. If the cache of Robust Nuclear Earth Penetrators has been removed,
but all other furniture remains, which of the following is a complete
and accurate list of the war profiteers sleeping in Donald’s room?
A. Halliburton, Lockheed Martin, General Electric
B. Raytheon, Dick Cheney, Halliburton
C. Richard Blum and wife, Senator Dianne Feinstein,
Halliburton, Carlyle Group, including past member George H.W. Bush
D. All of the above, but I really need more answer choices
2. Using the logic of the Bush administration, how many military invasions will the Bush administration launch this year?
A. What exactly do you mean by ‘invasion?’
B. What exactly do you mean by ‘the Bush administration?’
C. I have no immediate plans to answer this question, but I can’t rule out the possibility that I might in the future
D. When you say “this year,” are we talking fiscal year? Calendar year? Lunar year? Chinese calendar year? Dog years?
Word Analogy
DIRECTIONS: Review the word pairs in the examples below. From the
answer choices, pick the word pair whose relationship most closely
resembles the example:
David Hager: women’s health
A. Robust Nuclear Earth Penetrator: cave health
B. depleted uranium: US soldier and Iraqi civilian health
C. a guy: tampons
D. all of the above
Syllogisms
A
syllogism is a form of deductive reasoning consisting of a major
premise, a minor premise, and a conclusion; for example, ‘All humans
are mortal’ is the major premise, ‘I am a human’ is the minor premise,
and ‘therefore, I am mortal’ is the conclusion.
During
the Terri Schiavo tragedy, Reverend Louis Sheldon on his site
Traditional Values.org, compared Terri Schiavo’s husband, Michael, to
Hitler. Sheldon’s syllogism went as follows: Hitler killed the
disabled. Terri Schiavo was disabled and her husband advocated
removing her feeding tube. Therefore, Michael Schiavo equals Hitler.
Using the same logic, complete the following.
Osama bin Laden presumably co-opted and used
for his own end the religion of Islam to create a radical religious war
against America and what it represents. Reverend Louis Sheldon uses
the cloak of Christianity to spread hatred of gays, creating a
religious “war” against them and what they represent. Therefore,
Reverend Louis Sheldon:
A. is really the undercover identity of Osama bin Laden
B. is the “long time live-in assistant” of Osama bin Laden
C.
is awaiting word from his attorney re. copyright protection for his
newly penned 9th Beatitude, endorsed by the Bush administration:
“Blessed are the hate-spreaders. For they shall create wedge issues
for years to come.”
D. is awaiting the package he just ordered
online from RadicalReligiousWarsAgainstInfidels.com, Outfitting You,
the Radical Religious Warrior.* *All religions
co-opted by fear and/or self-interest, and irrational, hate-filled
radical organizations welcome. We screen for infidels.
Reverend Louis Sheldon is inordinately preoccupied
with gays, having created an entire website devoted to them. If
feeling amorous, gays, naturally, focus on other gays. Therefore,
Reverend Louis Sheldon must be:
A. such a thinly veiled horny gay man, it isn’t even funny
B. such a sad, close-minded man, it isn’t even funny
C. such a rich, albeit disturbing, psychological study, it isn’t even funny
D. really funny
Logical Reasoning
DIRECTIONS: Read the following excerpt and using the same logic, pick the best answer choice below.
If as Donald Rumsfeld is quoted as saying, “As we know, there are known
knowns; there are things we know we know. We also know there are known
unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know.
But there are also unknown unknowns – the ones we don't know we don't
know,” it logically follows that:
A. Donald was explicating his Iraq exit strategy to Congress and/or
pondering how he, once considered an outlier and a radical crackpot by
traditional Republican conservatives, is now a major player in guiding
U.S. military policy
B. an unknown in the hand is worth two invasions of strategic
oil-producing, US currency-saving countries in the Bush administration
C. “As we know, there are really bad Defense Secretaries, like
Donald Rumsfeld; there are bad things about him that we know we know.
We also know there are known bad unknowns about him; that is to say we
know there are some really, really bad things about him we do not
know. But there are also unknown bad unknowns about him – the ones we
know we don’t know, and god help us if we ever find out.”
D. something known is actually the unknown without all the pesky knowing
If the first word the author’s spell check gave for the word Rumsfeld, is ‘rusted,’ it logically follows that:
A. As the author suspected, her spell check is the voice of a supreme being
B. “As we know, there are known knowns; there are things we know we
know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know
there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown
unknowns – the ones we don't know we don't know.”
C. Rust is as corrosive as we thought.
D. Both A and C
If, as Donald Rumsfeld is quoted as saying, “No evidence is evidence”
in response to the weapons inspectors finding no weapons, it logically
follows that:
A. Rumsfeld missed the Cabinet Member Brown Bag Lunch talk on the Due Process clause in the U.S. Constitution
B. Rumsfeld figured the ‘no democracy is democracy’ stance his boss is taking could be generalized to any issue.
C. “As we know, there are known knowns; there are things we know we
know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know
there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown
unknowns – the ones we don't know we don't know.”
D. in college, Rumsfeld was president and sole absentee member of the non-existent “No Club is a Club” Club.
Reading Comprehension
DIRECTIONS: The following passage is followed by questions about its
content. After reading the passage, select the best answer to each
question among the four choices. Answer all questions on the basis of
what is stated or implied in the passage.
A group of people that many refer to as ‘the radical right’ claim to be
the voice of compassion. As part of their campaign of compassion, they
frequently dehumanize and actively attempt to undermine people in the gay
community. In addition, they are working hard to dismantle the safety
nets for struggling folks that have been decades in the making. And
all the while they are pushing for more money for invasion and
occupation of Iraq despite knowing the invasion was illegally based on false
premises and fearmongering, resulting in the continued deathsof untold tens of
thousands.
Using logical reasoning, find the radical right’s compassion evidenced in the content of this passage. Is it in:
A. sentence one’s gay bashing theme?
B. sentence two’s screwing over of those having a hard time theme?
C. sentence three’s illegal war/devastating occupation theme?
D. the spirit of the entire paragraph. But it's really, really subtle, so you have to look through specially made glasses made by a qualified Bush administration optician.
E. I logically deduce this is a trick question.
The author's primary point in this passage is:
A. the radical right/Bush administration speaks for us all.
B. a rolling, ranting radical rightist gathers no compassion.
C. the deep psychosocial implications of this passage should not be
plumbed without the assistance of a trained mental health professional
D. what the fuck?
More Word Analogies
Downing Street Memo: presidential impeachment
A. Enron scandal: Ken Lay’s five star vacation itinerary
B. Sesame Street Memo: the outing and ultimate ouster of Bert and Ernie
C. getting caught in California with a little stash of personal use marijuana three times: life in prison
D. eating that second piece of pie: sweatpants
radical right: facts
A. Karl: George
B. 1900’s traveling salesman: snake oil
C. Dinty Moore® Stew: taste buds
D. a good day: a comfortable pair of underwear
anticipatory self-defense: offense
A. howdy partner: hello
B. touching really, really, really fast and hard: hitting
C. irrational, unfounded, convoluted logic: illogic
D. none of the above
Fill in the Blank
DIRECTIONS: Fill in the blank with the most logical word/word phrase choice.
After Terri Schiavo’s death, President Bush said that "the strong have a duty to protect the weak." Logically, President Bush thinks _______________.
A. gutting Social Security is “protecting the weak.
B. gutting school lunch programs for impoverished children is protecting the weak.
C. gutting war-ravaged veterans’ benefits is protecting the weak.
D. disproportionately taxing the poor and exempting the rich is protecting the weak.
E. being the only industrialized country in the world to shrug its shoulders at 43 million uninsured US citizens is protecting the weak.
F. enfeebling environmental laws and protections is protecting the weak.
G. reversing a moratorium on toxic pesticide testing on human subjects (the overwhelming majority, low-income folks desperate for money) is protecting the weak
H. giving more and more rights to giant multi-billion dollar corporations as rights and privileges for individuals are being taken away in unprecedented numbers is protecting the weak.
I. all of the above are true.
J. he just about has the “How to Be President from A to Z” book Karl gave him totally memorized. He did, however, have to look up ‘P’ for “Protect,” cuz it’s a tricky one. It says, “No entry. See ‘F’ for Fuck Over.”
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