Thank you for all of your wonderful emails. They’ve truly filled my heart with gladness. Sometimes I wonder if they wouldn't be even more wonderful (as if that were possible!) if you had a bit more time to shape and hone them. But, I imagine you don't, as no doubt your life is a busy one, what with so many abortion clinics to plan to bomb and non-citizens to project all your unresolved fears onto. Who has time to write a decent hatemail?!
That’s where I come in. Being a writer myself and the bleeding heart you’ve told me I am, I had to offer some help. I took it upon myself to create a tool for you, the busy hatemailer. It’s called a Mad-As-Hell Lib and is sure to save you precious minutes. It’s just like the Mad Libs of old, only madder! All you have to do is cut and paste the following in the body of an email, follow a few simple instructions as you plug in a word or two here and there, find an unwitting target, and hit send. Then, presto, you’re a hatemailing bad-ass out the door to your next “How to Get Your Latest Manifesto Published without an Agent” class!
I offer this one-slur-fits-all Mad-As-Hell Lib in the same generous spirit as your emails, but with a just a teensy bit less heart attack-inducing verve. I hope it helps.
Sincerely,
Carol Norris
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