rousing the rabble

                      Contrary to popular belief, I have not been holed up for the last year in an underground bunker with Dick Cheney playing Hide the Defillibrator.  While that sounds like a lot of fun, I'm actually holed up, working on a book. Keep checking, I'll be back, I still have archived articles to post and much blogging to do.
                        
                      The Bush Administration's Comment on the Writings of Carol Norris:

                                                             

Welcome to this Bush Administration approved blog, home to my straight and satiric articles.  Be sure to check out articles from past years because sadly commentary from '02 or '03 is just as relevant today.  As if an archive of my articles weren't already as promising a read as John Ashcroft's encylopedia entry," there are these not-to-be-missed posts:

• ongoing, highly confidential clinical notes from my psychotherapy sessions with various members of the Bush administration  where you can hear me say things like, "George, as we've discussed, it's okay to wear your "Mission Accomplished" flight suit in session. But, again, I can't really hear you with your helmet on."  I'll update these as frequently as I can, so if you want to laugh until you cry, or laugh to keep from crying, eavesdrop on these sessions often.  (Check them out below or at left sidebar.)

• Good news!  Arnold S. is STILL thinking about beginning therapy.  Check out his psychotherapy notes - they'll be just like scenes from Pumping Iron, only with a plot and maybe a little bit less body oil.  As with my Bush administration clients, I'll update these notes frequently because Arnold and I have some serious work ahead of us.  (Check them out below or at left sidebar.)

• Logic Games of the Radical Right will help keep your brain in tip top shape to grapple with the illogic, convoluted reasoning, and mind boggling syllogisms of the Bush administration. (Yep, also below or at left sidebar.)

• Heads Up, Rabble! gives you action alert ideas.

• plus, a must-see helpful hatemailer timesaver for you busy hatemailers and those who hate to love you 

So much psychopathology, so little bandwidth...  But, there will be plenty more to come that I hope'll make you laugh and cry and rouse your rabble self from the computer and into the streets, even if it's just to pick up a burrito and some chips and salsa to bring home to fuel you as you read more of this blog. PEACE.  ~ Carol

"We must not confuse dissent with disloyalty. When the loyal opposition dies, I think the soul of America dies with it." ~ Edward R. Murrow

In Session with the Bush Administration: Psychotherapy Notes*

Most Recent Psychotherapy Note

Dick C NOTE - 12 September

After his tour of the Houston shelters filled with Katrina refugees, Dick phoned and said he needed a session - he was having a hard time. I met with him back home in the bunker. He was visibly upset. "Dear God, it was awful.  Just awful. I could hardly stand it."  He became quiet, trying to compose himself.  Those people...all those black people.  I..I..I had to shake their hands.  I couldn't avoid it.  It was awful.  I don't care how bad those goddamned poll numbers are, I'm sure as hell never going back there.  Condi can go, or maybe we can call back Colin.  But I'm never leaving this bunker ever again!"

(To eavesdrop on more members of the Bush Administration in session, click below.  Um, if you're already inside, look down.)

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In Session with Arnold*

Most Recent Psychotherapy Note

Arnold  S. NOTE - 13 September

Arnold phoned excited to tell me about his new plan to help Katrina refugees.  He said he is going to offer space in his fleet of Hummers for people to stay.  The best part, he said, is he's only going to charge $44,500 an hour, half of what he usually charges for an hour of his time.  "I dare you to say I'm not the People's Governor now," he laughed.

(To eavesdrop on more of Arnold's sessions, click below. If you're already inside, yeah, look down.)

Logic Games of the Radical Right

The following is a few logic games to give you some practice wrapping your head around the illogic of the Bush administration and the radical right.  You have until the 2008 elections to select your answers.  When completed, send them to Congressional Democrats.  Good luck.

Logic Games

DIRECTIONS:  Review the scenario and conditions below.  Based on the conditions, answer the questions using logical reasoning.

An underground bunker includes six rooms, numbered 1 through 6 from left to right.  Each room accommodates up to two people, not including body doubles.  Six people—George, Dick, Donald, Condi, Antonio and Karl—are in the bunker at the same time.

Conditions:
•    Nobody will stay in a room next to Dick
•    Antonio MUST be in the room with “the rack” and the electrodes
•    Karl MUST be in Room #1
•    Condi will go into any room you stick her in
•    George must NOT be in a room next to anyone using a cell phone or portable defibrillator, as it scrambles the rectangular receiver/transmitter surgically affixed to his back
•    Nobody is sharing a room with his or her conscience
•    Karl and George MUST have adjoining rooms
•    When considering your answer choices assume the Constitution and the Bill of Rights have been obliterated, but that the Mickey Mouse Club Song remains intact, albeit under full copyright law, copyright held by Disney who will prosecute any infringement to the full extent of the law.

1.  If the cache of Robust Nuclear Earth Penetrators has been removed, but all other furniture remains, which of the following is a complete and accurate list of the war profiteers sleeping in Donald’s room?

A.    Halliburton, Lockheed Martin, General Electric
B.    Raytheon, Dick Cheney, Halliburton
C.    Richard Blum and wife, Senator Dianne Feinstein, Halliburton, Carlyle Group, including past member George H.W. Bush
D.    All of the above, but I really need more answer choices

2.   Using the logic of the Bush administration, how many military invasions will the Bush administration launch this year?

A.    What exactly do you mean by ‘invasion?’
B.    What exactly do you mean by ‘the Bush administration?’
C.    I have no immediate plans to answer this question, but I can’t rule out the possibility that I might in the future
D.    When you say “this year,” are we talking fiscal year? Calendar year? Lunar year? Chinese calendar year? Dog years?

Word Analogy

DIRECTIONS: Review the word pairs in the examples below.  From the answer choices, pick the word pair whose relationship most closely resembles the example:

David Hager: women’s health
A.    Robust Nuclear Earth Penetrator: cave health
B.    depleted uranium:  US soldier and Iraqi civilian health
C.    a guy: tampons
D.    all of the above

Latest Article

The Radical Right, the Myth of the Gay Child Abuser, and You

First published  5 October 2006

As soon as the Foley story broke, I knew it was just a matter of time. Sure enough, The People for the American Way reported that Tony Perkins, of the Family Research Council, said the real concern about Foley’s sexual predatory behavior toward an underage congressional page is “the link between homosexuality and child sexual abuse.” Not just Perkins, many other right wing mouthpieces are disgorging similar rhetoric.

The radical right, at the helm of its mighty cutter boat, the U.S.S. Wedge Issue, is chipping and tacking its way through the towns and psyches of our country yet again. I’d yawn at such a hackneyed conflation - homosexuality equals child sexual abuse - but those guys’ll take advantage of any opening they can get and I feel sure they’d ram the bow of their boat right through my mouth on its way to the voting booths in November. Besides, I know that cutter can do some serious damage.

A Reader Favorite

George Bush's War on Himself: The World, His Battlefield

First published, February 2003

At the beginning of his presidency, George was faltering. He blundered his way through unscripted camera appearances. He had little direction, save for his daily jog. He wasn't engendering confidence from the American people. His handlers were worried. How are we going to make him more presidential, they wondered? He was the Eliza Doolittle of the Oval Office.

Then came 9.11.       

And in the unspeakable rubble, George found his purpose. He found his higher calling: to rid the world of terrorism. And he proclaimed this calling to the world in no uncertain terms. Finally, he would be more than the son of George Bush I, more than the son who rode his father's political coattails into office."The rein on Hussein falls mainly from the bomber plane," repeats George back to his groomers, practicing his presidential diction. "By Jove," they said, already thinking ahead, "I think he's got it!"       

Heads Up, Rabble!

Take Meaninful Action to Help Katrina Refugees!

Donate to ACORN, Association of Community Organizations for Reform Now, the fantastic human rights organization whose national headquarters is in New Orleans.  Acorn is the nation's largest community organization of low- and moderate-income families, working together for social justice and stronger communities.  Since 1970, ACORN has grown to more than 175,000 member families, organized in 850 neighborhood chapters in 75 cities across the U.S. and in cities in Canada, the Dominican Republic and Peru.

Many of their members have been displaced and need your help, as does ACORN itself.